My “troubled” kids!

Date: 6/22/2008

It’s true that kids are heavily influenced by their caretakers and/or people they live with. I realized that a lot of times you can really tell what kind of parents/caretakers a kid have by looking at their behaviors and interactions in class.

*Sam (1st grade)-Attachment issues.
Sam has a very interesting family, his mom and grandmother are always around in school waiting and/or watching him. Sometimes, they take his little brother along too; therefore, Sam has serious attachment issues. He knows his mom is around and always wants to go find her and have difficulties being away from her. Sam’s mom would often watch through the window during class to check on him. I haven’t seen his dad around ever; my Korean co-teacher said she heard the dad is sick. In addition, the mom is always around and watching through the window during class. My Korean co-teacher communicated with the mom and told her not to do that because Sam would want to go find her constantly and could not concentrate in class. She agreed, stopped doing it for a day or two, and went back to normal. Sam’s grandma would always look for him in school as well. Because of such behaviors from his mother and grandma, Sam does not know how to take responsibilities for himself. Moreover, he’s extremely dependable, he doesn’t seem to be able to do anything by himself without asking help from others. He normally doesn’t pay attention in class, likes to play around with others, and does not know any of the materials that we just taught. He never brings pencil to the class and always asking for one and would also purposely break them because he does not want to do work. He’s considered to be one of our number 1 “troubled kids”, not very smart, very dependable, would not listen; thus after 2 months of class, he still only knows the alphabets. However, when my Korean co-teacher communicated such concerns with his mother; his mother seemed offended and did not agree with her on Sam’s behaviors.

*James (3rd grade)-Super naughty!!
James is super naughty and active, and likes to challenge authorities and be his own person. He likes to bother almost everyone in the class either by taking their stuff and/or hitting them. He seems to love monsters; he would make anybody as monster every time he draws. There was one incident happened that I had to discipline him big time, and he seemed to listen a little better after that, still super naughty though. One time, he tried to use his backpack to hit another girl in the class; I tried to stop him by telling him “NO!” (they all understand NO by now) and tried pulling him away to separate the two of them. After that, I told James to move to another seat, but he would not listen to me. He struggled and tried to pull out from my grip and kept yelling "No! No! No!" Finally, I told him I would cont till 3 and I would cross out one of his stamps if he doesn’t move. Although he probably didn’t fully understand what I said, but I’m pretty sure he was smart enough to figure the situation out by my gestures, tone of voice, and just some common sense. Plus, I’m sure he knew he’s at fault; otherwise, he would not struggle so much to try to fight back. After a bit of pulling and struggling, I ended up crossing out one of his stamps; unexpectedly, he started crying, took his backpack, and stormed out of the classroom. I then went over to talk to my Korean co-teacher to let her know what just happened (because he needs to call parents when kids are absent), and when I came back, I saw James standing outside of my classroom. So I went over and tried talking to him on his level and told him what he did was wrong and also when I say move, he needs to move. He still was yelling “No! No!” and stormed downstairs. About a minute after, my Korean co-teacher came to talk to me, and saw him outside of my classroom again, so she pulled him in my class and told him she would call his parents if he leaves now. So he stayed in, but just stood by the door. All the kids were asking me what’s going on because they came later, but I didn’t really answer them because I know it would be really hard to communicate.

At this point, I just went on to start the class normally and just let him be because sometimes kids need sometime to cool themselves down and I do not want to draw any more attention to him in front of the whole class. James eventually sat down by himself and joined the class, and he was fine at the end. Kids are so dramatic, they are impulsive, emotional, but also get over things quickly.

*Daniel (1st grade)-Super Shy!
Daniel is very small (physically) compare to other kids his age. He’s very shy and always cries. He cried at least 3 times in my class in the past 2 months of classes. He always tries to tell me or ask me something, but I could not understand him. Sometimes, I would bring him over to the Korean co-teacher so they could communicate, but most of the times in class, I would not bother the Korean co-teacher with every little issues except when necessary. My Korean co-teacher also told me, after talking to his mom, that Daniel is scared of English now because he doesn’t understand what I say in class. I know it’s not my fault, but it’s still a little sad that he’s scared of English because he doesn’t understand me. I hope and pray that he’ll break through his fear soon someday.

*Andrew (3rd grade)- Anger issues.
Andrew seems to get angry very easily and is violent. He’s naughty as well, and whenever I try to discipline him, he would get all stirred up, get all red, holding his fists, and stares at you. He hits his classmates sometimes too. When it happens, I tried to give him sometimes to cool down or just talk to him as normal. Unless he hits others, I would make him say sorry and make it serious it’s WRONG. My Korean co-teacher realized the anger issues with Andrew as well, and she spoke with him, and he’s gotten a little better now.

*Thomas (6th grade)- Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)?
I think Thomas has ADHD. It’s a very common diagnose among kids in the U.S. and a lot of them take medicine for it. Thomas could never stop talking, fidgeting, and never really pay attention. He seriously talks non-stop either with himself and/or with others. Even when he writes his mouth could never be shut. One time, I yelled at him and told him that he has to stop, and he looked at me but still at the same time, his mouth is still open and saying stuff. If it’s truly a disorder, I guess sometimes it’s even hard for him to control himself. However, I’ve seen him being quiet when he does not feel well and/or when he does work by himself without other students being there.